2025-03-22

Talking about money with adult children

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Parents often delay these talks because they fear sounding controlling. Adult children delay them because they fear sounding greedy. Meanwhile, lasting powers of attorney go unsigned and gifts are made without records.

Start with practical topics: who holds keys to online accounts, where wills are stored, and whether anyone already has authority to speak with banks if capacity is lost. Those points are less charged than discussing who inherits the house.

If lifetime gifts are planned, write down amounts and dates. Informal loans between generations should be documented so later estate administration does not turn into a family dispute.

A financial planning meeting with a neutral third party present can keep the conversation on facts — cashflow, tax wrappers, and timelines — rather than old sibling dynamics.